Should you give the ring back when the engagement is over? Most courts would say yes. Donna Alberico for The New York Times
Diamonds, at least in the New York courts, aren’t forever. Diamonds aren’t even dreamy. Diamonds, given after a “will you marry me?” with a “yes” to follow, are a contract. This is why so many of them end up in court.
The New York legal system deems, in essence, that a broken engagement is no one’s fault, and the ring should be given back to the giver, with few exceptions. Most states have adopted that approach.
But Montana hasn’t: It classifies the ring as an unconditional gift. The recipient keeps it.
California and Texas take a middle-of-the-road approach: the recipient of the ring is expected to return it unless the giver called off the engagement.
When will New York courts reconsider?
1. When one half of the couple is already married to someone else.
2. When a ring is clearly given as a Christmas gift, Valentine’s Day gift, or birthday gift or such without the proposal accompanying. But once a marriage proposal is extended and accepted — once the promise is made — no matter what day of the year, that ring is no longer considered a gift. It’s a contract to enter into marriage.
3. The ring was considered payment for financial agreements between the couple. That could include a down payment on a house, a loan, or living expenses.
Most states embraced the no-fault rule after the 1997 case of Heiman v. Parrish. There, the Kansas Supreme Court decided that no matter who broke the engagement, the $9,033 ring should be given back to the giver. “Ordinarily, the ring should be returned to the donor, regardless of fault,” the court found.
The Kansas court then put forth reasons relationships end, in explaining why the court would want to wash its hands of the entire mess:
• The parties have nothing in common.
• One party cannot stand prospective in-laws.
• The parties’ pets do not get along.
• One party has untidy habits that irritate the other.
• A rebound situation that is now regretted.
• Too hasty in proposing or accepting the proposal.
• A minor child of one of the parties is hostile to and will not accept the other party.
• An adult child of one party will not accept the other party.
As is the case with most failed relationships the list, the Kansas courts said, “could be endless.”
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/18/fashion/weddings/should-you-give-the-engagement-ring-back.html